- My best advice: Don't make this your first contact with parents! Whether it be email, phone, letters or whichever method of contact you prefer; make sure you have reached out to all parents before they show up for the conference.
- Invite the student to the conference. Many schools are turning to student-led conferences, which is an idea I want to try as well, but if this makes you uncomfortable or does not fit into your school, at least invite the child. After all, if you are trying to discuss solutions and give feedback then the child is a vital part of that conversation.
- Plan, prepare, and know exactly why you are giving the feedback you are planning on giving. If you seem ill-prepared, parents will notice. This is an important conversation and should be valued as such. I write notes for myself for each student using this planning sheet. This way I know what I want to highlight and I also have a paper trail. We write focus goals together and the next day the parents get a copy of my notes.
- Dress the part. Again, this is a big deal to students and can be a great way to share successes and give feedback. Don't let your clothing distract from the task at hand.
- Remind, remind, remind. Parents are busy so send home a reminder or two or three, or have students remind their parents. If you have an inkling someone may not show up, call them. If it is a transportation issue, offer to come to them.
- Be flexible! Not all parents can automatically come to your planned dates. I have had phone conferences, morning meetings, late night conferences. Whatever it takes to communicate is worth it to me.
- Start and end with something positive. You want everyone to feel good about this experience but you also want to be honest. All kids have great qualities and success stories; share them! Do not be afraid to bring up things that may appear critical, after all, this is a learning dialogue, however, leave the conversation on a positive note as well. Sometimes it is best to let parents speak first, try to hone n on their social cues to see if that is the case. That way they will be able to be fully engaged when they have spoken their piece rather than waiting for their turn.
- Be honest! If you feel a student needs to work harder, say so, but say it in a constructive manner. Highlight the effort being made and how you feel you can work together to improve it. Some parents will need a lighter phrasing than others; trust your instinct and know your relationship with them.
- Have samples ready. To illustrate highlights and "normal" work, use actual work from the student showing their progress and what you are basing feedback on.
- Do not use teacher language. We may be fluent in the land of acronyms or reading comprehension but others are probably not. Don't assume that they will know what working on fluency means, rather explain it in a direct manner.
- Leave room for questions. Make sure that there is plenty of time for discussion and questions during the conversation at the end. Sometimes surprising knowledge comes to light or even more successes are found.
- Be on time and stick to the schedule. We are all busy so do not leave people waiting; it is unprofessional. That also means you may want to schedule a short break for yourself to eat or just breathe. If a conference is going over the time limit, offer to reschedule at another time. Parents will appreciate your respect and promptness.
- Do not be afraid to involve others. If you have a mentor, ask them to sit in on a couple. I have had my principal sit in on several and have valued his feedback. Also, if you are worried about a conference make sure someone sits in with you. If a conference ever turns argumentative or unprofessional do not be afraid to ask to reschedule with someone else present.
- Embrace them! I love conferences because it allows me to show off how incredible my job is and what amazing students I have. Yes, they may be tiring, and a lot of work but let your enthusiasm show; you will be surprised at the response you get. After all, I have the best job in the world and I am not afraid to say that.
So what did I miss? Please add your best advice in the comments, we are each others' best teachers and mentors.
