My father came into my life on my 7th birthday. One moment there was no one there and the next I found my mother sitting on a strange man's lap as if he had always been there. I didn't know he was my father then and in fact it took me many years of confusion, displaced anger, and soul searching before I realized that the father I had always been searching for was right in front of me.
My father did not have me, he chose me instead. He chose to be a part of my mother's life and in that he also chose to be a father to her three children. And we did not make it easy for him. We did not want a father, already had enough in the one we dealt with on forced vacations and long weekend. Growing up as the product of split parents, I had enough self-pity to stay in misery for years. And yet my father stood by me. He showed me how to play the guitar, he showed me how to use the computer, he stood by me when my other father dealt my already fragile ego another blow. And he did not ask for anything in return. He just waited and waited until one day I realized he had been there all along.
So when my soulmate asked me to marry him, I knew I had to make a choice. Did the man who was my biological father give me away or the man who had stood by me all of these years, wiping away my tears, lifting me up when I needed it, get to do it? When I walked down the stairs with my father by my side, my biological father watching from the chairs, I knew that this was what the world had wanted. Someone out there knew that this little girl with so much anger and so many tears needed someone to show her what it meant to be a real father. What it meant to give your all and not ask for anything in return. He showed me that it is okay to show your emotions, and it is ok to be angry as long as you have a way to work it out. He showed me what it means to love and live and passionately believe in things. He showed me what real fathers do and told me that I had the right one when I met Brandon. And he was right, when I look at how Brandon is with Thea, I see my father and how he was with me; there, present, and in the moment. We are truly our father's daughters, thanks dad.
My father did not have me, he chose me instead. He chose to be a part of my mother's life and in that he also chose to be a father to her three children. And we did not make it easy for him. We did not want a father, already had enough in the one we dealt with on forced vacations and long weekend. Growing up as the product of split parents, I had enough self-pity to stay in misery for years. And yet my father stood by me. He showed me how to play the guitar, he showed me how to use the computer, he stood by me when my other father dealt my already fragile ego another blow. And he did not ask for anything in return. He just waited and waited until one day I realized he had been there all along.
So when my soulmate asked me to marry him, I knew I had to make a choice. Did the man who was my biological father give me away or the man who had stood by me all of these years, wiping away my tears, lifting me up when I needed it, get to do it? When I walked down the stairs with my father by my side, my biological father watching from the chairs, I knew that this was what the world had wanted. Someone out there knew that this little girl with so much anger and so many tears needed someone to show her what it meant to be a real father. What it meant to give your all and not ask for anything in return. He showed me that it is okay to show your emotions, and it is ok to be angry as long as you have a way to work it out. He showed me what it means to love and live and passionately believe in things. He showed me what real fathers do and told me that I had the right one when I met Brandon. And he was right, when I look at how Brandon is with Thea, I see my father and how he was with me; there, present, and in the moment. We are truly our father's daughters, thanks dad.
