Don't You Mentor Me! Will Teachers Ever Embrace the Role of a Coach?

This year I was asked to mentor a new teacher in our building and although I willingly accepted part of me trembled just a little bit with fear.  See being a mentor implies that you know what you are doing and since I keep changing what it is I am doing, I don't know if I fall into that category.  However, I also knew that I wouldn't be a mentor to a brand new impressionable teacher but rather to someone who actually has a year more teaching experience than I do.  So it wasn't a case of me spilling my infinite wisdom of how to thrive in your first year of teaching, but rather to communicate ideas and offer discussion opportunities to help us both.  So being a mentor has been a reflective practice, mostly because Mark has given me as much food for thought as I hope I have him.  At the same time though I know that I have not fully acted as a mentor because I am afraid to step on toes, not that he would mind, but I just don't feel right.  And I don't think I am alone.

So what is our problem with mentors or coaches in education?  Why do we like the idea of them as long as we are not the ones being mentored?  We tell our students to work together, to learn from others, and yet our defensive hairs stand up on our necks the minute someone mentions a coaching or mentoring opportunity involving us.  I happen to know that I have a lot to learn and yet the reaction even comes from me; what do you mean you are going to teach me something?  I am doing just fine on my own, thank you, take your concern to someone who really needs it.

Perhaps this is our achilles heel as a community; the inability to take advice or have a discussion on how to improve ourselves.  Sure we say we want to get better as teachers, but often that means on our own, not with someone coaching us.  We, of all professions, should be embracing the very nature of the coach or mentor, or whatever you want to call it.  We should celebrate when we actually have the opportunity to learn from others, with others, and yet most of us get defensive instead.  Are we just too competitive to take advice?  Or have we lost our sense of trust when it comes to others wanting to help us?  Do we really think that we are doing our very best teaching every day?  I, for one, do not, just look at yesterday's post, but still why I am not asking people to come in and discuss my teaching?  Why am I not the one out soliciting feedback from my local colleagues?  Why do I hide behind my classroom walls as much as anyone?

So how do we build the trust?  Where do we start as a mentor or as a coach or whatever other title may be bestowed upon us?  Can teachers ever learn to trust each other enough to know that we are are here to be be the best teachers we possibly can be?  I just don't know but I hope someone else does.

For a wonderful perspective on lessons learned from being a coach, please read John T. Spencer's post "10 Things I Learned From Coaching."

Try It

I can't...But then...What if...I don't think....This won't....All words used by educators as we try new things.  What if we just gave it a shot?

What if, instead of coming up with reasons of how it might fail, get messy, not work - we just tried it?

Then our words would actually speak the truth and not just our assumption.

Kids Shouldn't Feel Like Tourists: How Every Classroom Should Be a Tribe

Taken today - oh what a beautiful flag

"I feel like I belong."  My little brother turns to me as we walk through the Copenhagen aiport minutes after landing.  We are indeed home, even if just for a short while, but I immidiately got what he meant.  I belong to the same tribe he does; the Danes, and with that comes certain hidden knowledge, requirements and social norms that normal tourists simply will not be a part of.  This is all unravled to us as we are raised; how to speak to elders, how to dress, how to survive in a culture which is very liberal but has heightened politeness and manners standards.  The manual for being a Dane has not been written, and indeed, it changes as the population changes, and yet there is a "Daneness" that I recognize.  We are indeed tribe members and not just by looks - in fact not all Danes are blonde like I am - but by culture and behavior.  We are members because we know how to be and the society lets us be, with only a few perplexed comments on our Americanness (13 years abroad will do that for you).

This is much like our classrooms.  We set them up to be inclusive and welcoming to our students but do we set them up as a tribe?  (And I am not referring to the Tribes program here).  A tribe would mean that every person involved in the classroom felt like they belong and understood the hidden language of the classroom.  A tribe means safety for all of the people wherever they venture in the room and also that they will be protected by other students outside of our territory.  A tribe is bigger than just being a class.  All of this is certainly something I strive for every year so I mulled about this all day and reached the following conclusions.  To be a tribe we must

• Recognize that we are an entity, that yes we are part of something bigger in the school, but also see that we are our own unit contained within the walls of our classroom.
• Realize that we are unique.  There are other similar classrooms but this actual composition cannot be replicated anywhere else and this is something to celebrate.
• Determine our culture.  What do we value, what do we see as proper behavior and how do we act amongst each other?  These are all vital for a tribe to feel togetherness and should not be set by the teacher.  For real understanding, appreciation, and cooperation it has to be set up together.  A tribe may have a leader but it is still a regular person who holds that position.
• Determine our hidden language.  Discuss the assumptions we bring into the classroom,  set expectations and explore pitfalls.  Unspoken assumptions in particular can be devastating for a classroom and need to be discussed openly so that all involved people have a real chance of ownership and understanding.
• Allow change.  A tribe should not stay the same all year, it should move and fluctuate as the classroom moves much like a country's culture.  What should remain though is the sense of belonging of understanding the classroom culture and being able to navigate it all successfully without feeling like a tourist.

Being a tribe is so much more than being just a classroom, even a really good one.  It allows students to lose inhibitions (and the teacher too) and to revel in a meaningful learning environment.  No longer just visiting for the year in the teacher's classroom but actually building the foundation of it and then actively maintaining it throughout the year so that ever person who walks into the room can exclaim, "I belong."

This goes beyond just building community and rightfully so and will therefore take top priority in the coming year for me.  What about you?

5 + 1 Things I Learned This Year

I was recently asked what would be my top 5 things I have learned this past year in my journey to radically change my classroom.  So after some deep pondering and gut checks, here are the lessons I have learned, or the top 5 + 1.

1. Give them choice (and a voice).  The number one thing my students said they loved was the fact that they had a choice and a voice.  As teachers we are taught that we are the only experts but this is so far from the truth.  My students have a lot of background knowledge and a lot of enthusiasm so letting them choose the type of project they wanted to create or how they wanted to learn something meant there was buy in.   No longer was learning mandated, there was actual buy-in from everyone.
2. Trust your students.  I was not sure that my students could handle all of the responsibility I was giving them but throughout the year I was proven wrong again and again.  In fact, my students could probably have handled even more.  Trust also means that if they tell you something not so nice, you should celebrate it, not get upset.  The fact that my students trusted me enough to tell me something was boring is something that I relish and then learned from.  
3. Trust yourself.  I knew I had to make big changes in my room and yet I questioned myself throughout the year.  was not giving them a letter grade really benefitting them?  Was not having punishment in my classroom better for all of us?  Were we accomplishing as much as we should have?  My gut told me I was doing the right thing and yet doubt snuck in sometimes, in the end, do what you believe in and then stand behind it.  There is a reason your common sense is telling you something is amiss and needs to be fixed, so fix it to suit you.
4. Ask yourself the tough questions.  I asked myself whether I would be a student in my own classroom.  Before this year, the answer would have been a resounding no.  Now that answer has changed.  In fact, I love being in my classroom as much as my students do.  School should be about learning, yes, but that doesn't mean it can't be engaging and enticing at the same time.
5. Give yourself a break.  There were days were I sucked as a teacher.   Days were I pined for inane punishment just to make them behave or were I raised my voice.  There were days were I didn't feel like giving feedback or having lengthy conversations about projects.  Some days I just wanted to lecture and be done with it.  Thankfully my students snapped me out of that really quickly.  You are not perfect, you never will be, and that is ok.  Trust the direction you are taking and make adjustments as you see fit.  
6. Be Quiet!  Teaching should not be about teachers pouring information into the heads of students, but rather teachers as a guide letting students explore, create, and make connections.  When we let the students own the classroom and the discussion they also take ownership of the learning, and that is a beautiful thing indeed.  So get off the stage but set it up for them to learn and then stop talking.  Much like we ask our parents to not help with homework, we should also ask ourselves to not take away the pleasure of learning.  

So there they are; my biggest lessons this year.  I am already excitedly planning for my transition to 5th grade next year and reevaluating what worked, what sucked, and what will I definitely do differently.  A new year brings new challenges and for that I am thankful.

Related articles

• So You Want to Quit Letter Grades - A Practical Guide From Someone Who's Done It and Survived (mrspripp.blogspot.com)
• Allow Yourself to Dream (mrspripp.blogspot.com)

How Homework Destroys

It finally happened; a parent decided to disagree with my new take on homework. They do not feel that I am providing enough and thus am doing a disservice to the students by lulling them into a fake sense of security in their skills. My response at first was indignation; how dare so and so question my fantastic educational shift in philosophy. Why are they not enlightened or believers as well? And then it dawned on me; I have not shown them the way.

I spend a lot of time speaking to students about what we are doing, why we are doing it, and what the goal is for their learning but not enough explaining that to the parents. And while I hope that parents have faith in me, I cannot take it for granted. I am, after all, messing with a system that has been set in place for many years and that these same parents are products of. So, of course, my system may come as a shock at first, and without the proper explanation it will continue to be so. After all, parents have been trained to think that for every grade level you figure out homework load by multiplying the grade level with 10 minutes. So by 4th grade, students should at the very least be doing 40 minutes of homework a night. And yet, my students don't. They do most of their work in class, even staying in for recess so that I may help them, and I never willingly send home a piece of homework that I know they will struggle for hours with.

Homework should be practice, a showing of skills. It should not be a two hour time consumer where both mom, dad and the encyclopedia gets involved. I explain this to my students and the sense of relief is visible in them. They know that I will challenge them in class but at home they may pursue life instead. So if you work hard at school then the reward is rest, family time, and a pursuit of happiness. And it works. My students are still learning everything they should for the year, albeit in a more hands-on manner. I am shying away from worksheets and instead having conversations about learning. Our favorite tool is our dry-eraseboards that allows me a quick check in for understanding. And the students are noticing the difference. No longer dreading the afternoon because I will continue to haunt their day. No longer dreading school because it means so many extra hours of works. No longer dreading learning because they are realizing that learning is something you do at school and that it doesn't come form worksheets.

When I recently welcomed 9 new students into my room, one "old" student told me that she was looking forward to seeing how the newbies would react since I "teach a little crazy." And perhaps that is true. I am loud, obnoxiously so at times, and I have high standards. I push kids to learn, I push kids to understand, and then I back off. I let them think about it, let the learning resonate within them, and then I challenge them to dredge it out again the following day.

By no means, am I the perfect teacher. I have many years of learning to come, but I do know that I am on to something here and I stand at a fork in the road signaling a massive shift in my whole educational philosophy. I believe these students are learning, I believe I am preparing them as well as any other teacher, and most importantly I believe I am letting them be kids at the same time. My students know that if something is homework it is for the benefit of their learning and is important to do, not just another piece of paper that their teacher didn't get to in class. They know that I only assign it if it is truly valuable, and not just something for me to use for grades. They know that we will meet and discuss their learning, always knowing what is missing, what is accomplished, what the direction should be. They know that if I assign something to them it is because they have the skills needed to do it. Do yours?

I am the Reform

I am the reform when I trust other teachers.

I am the reform when I stand united, and not divided.

I am the reform when I discuss, assess, and learn with my students.

I am the reform when I trust in others.

I am the reform when I ask for observation, feedback, and growth opportunities.

I am the reform when I discuss, even with people with whom I disagree.

I am the reform when I reflect, reject and reinvent.

I am the reform when I ask for help.

I am the reform when I learn more.

I am the reform when I am not afraid.

I am the reform when I listen and I speak.

I am the reform when I believe.

Are you the reform?

Your child will not become a thug because he listens to Snoop Dogg

I will be honest; this is a rant post and it is not meant to offend but it might.  Today while reading a new blog I came across a post on how we should monitor our children's ipod content because heaven forbid they had anything inapproporiate on them. Well guess what; get over it.  I get that we are supposed to protect our children, being a mother and a teacher I feel that heavy burden every day.  And yet, we have to allow our children to breathe.  If we constantly monitor every little thing they listen to, read, or watch, we will have children who will want to break free of our rule. 

Yes, I was raised in a very trusting, nurtutring household that had rules.  They were sensible rules though, my mother had 5 children to raise and could not be bothered to check the music we listened to.  She also knew that even though I listened to Snoop Doggy Dogg, as he was called back then, I was not going to go out and emualte his lifestyle.  She trusted me to realize that it was music; an artistic exporession, and that was it.  Not a lifestyle, not a role model, but entertainment. 

Growing up, I had a friend with wonderful caring parents that wanted nothing but to raise her in the best way possible.  So they blocked MTV, stopped her from going out of the house after 9 PM (because nothing good ever happens after 9 o'clock) and monitored who her friends were.  Guess what happened; she snuck out and got into a  lot of trouble repeatedly. She felt suffocated.  And I don't blame her.  I know as parents and teachers we want the best for our children but we have to let them grow up and make choices.  If we make those choices for them, they will not be able to do it on their own, or at the very least it will be a lot harder for them. 

So let your child make decisions about the clothes they wear, the music they listen, the books they read.  They are forming their identity and if they don't get to explore somewhat then they will rebel.  I thank my mother for the way I was raised all the time because she trusted me to make good decisions.  Of course, she would have stepped in if I had made horrible choices, but I never felt the need to.  I knew that she believed that I would make a good life for myself and not feel the need to screw it all up just to spite her.  So relax, and stop listening to their Ipods.  It is just music after all...